When you seek approval you put other people on a pedestal. That pedestal is made of your own morals and ego. The person you put on a pedestal is supposed to incarnate the ideal -- your own. You project the ideal on a person so you can get the ideal´s approval, so you can approve your own person. You feed on their love and punishment, trying harder or rebelling against this imaginary thing. Self-validation gets twisted externally.

You feed a fake system of values so you can be loved by a higher order. Role play -- identity masturbation. But as it happens, this person has a moral on their own. Unlike your ideals, that person exists. And with that, there´s conflict. Either they cant play the part properly, so you cant pedestalize them fully. Or they play it well, but you live by their standards pretending they're yours. External validation distorts reality.

Seeking approval and putting others on your pedestal is as egoistical and sick as it gets. You might not be abusing other people, but you´re abusing yourself while pretending it´s them doing it. In short, dont. You are the one. Yeah. Yourself. Projecting ideals onto dummies for fake herd approval harms your core. True power lies inward, not in borrowed judgments. Stop the cycle now.

Instead of finding external dummies to project your own values and then act as a follower for that fake herd, be your own pastor. And open your windows so you can relate to other people on their own terms -- on their own realities -- and in your own terms. Authenticity frees you from pedestal games. Embrace self-sovereignty for real connections. Live as the one you seek. (97 words)